The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 4 of 8)

September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

Every year since 1974 ('75?), the nation has come together in a week-long campaign to help promote Suicide Prevention Awareness.  All sorts of events are held all over our country, in the hopes that the information received there will help keep even just one person from committing suicide. The idea is to draw attention to suicide prevention, suicide warning signs, reduce stigma surrounding the topic of suicide (so that more prevention happens), encourage those who need it to seek mental health assistance, and to support those who have attempted suicide, as well as those who have lost someone to suicide.

Walks are organized, screenings are done, information is handed out, and memorials are held for those who have been lost. Fundraisers collect money for research for mental health issues, and for existing suicide prevention outlets.  All of this helps coincide with what is known as World Suicide Prevention Day, which is held annually on the 10^th of September. As the name would imply, this is the day that suicide prevention is recognized all over the world. 

For my small part in helping promote and spread awareness, I am posting one blog post every day this week—Suicide Prevention Awareness Week—in the hope that even one person may be saved. I have experienced loss to suicide myself (some time ago now) and find this to be a therapeutic way for me to deal with that grief.

I intend to give you as much information as I can on suicide but I also strongly encourage you to take the time to read the personal stories attached within all the facts. These are real people, with real stories that I have collected, just for this occasion. They wanted to let anyone who reads their stories to know that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. There is hope and there is help.

Thank you for stopping by to check this out. Suicide is preventable. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to spread the word, so pass this along as you see fit to. Here’s to hoping we can help save some lives.

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"I am smart and I am funny. I am pretty and yet I am not vain. I am socially outgoing and have tons of friends. I am opinionated and open-minded. I have been weak and I have been strong. These are things most anyone who knows me can tell you about me. What almost no one knows--not even my family--is this: I used to be a cutter.

Not because I wanted to die or felt I needed to die. I did it because I was horribly anxious, severely depressed, and at my wit’s end. I had tried everything short of medication and regular therapy (both of which I couldn’t afford because of no health insurance) to ease the anxiety and pain I felt. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing, that is, except for cutting.

It was the release I was looking for. The meditative feeling I couldn’t experience any other way. The pain from the knife wasn’t really pain at all but rather an intoxicating high of relaxation. I did this for quite a while before the influence of a few of the best friends I will ever have made me quit. Made me seek healthier (albeit, more expensive) alternatives to deal with the things I was going through.

While getting help was rather difficult for me to do, it was the best decision I could have ever made. It has been seven years since my last cutting session, but sometimes when my anxiety and stress levels are through the roof, I still get the urge to cut. I crave that high.

I can only imagine how much worse it could have gotten…My friends saved my life and I can never thank them enough."  ~~Anonymous submission~~

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Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. If you missed the post, check it out here, I hosted a wonderfully talented and inspirational guest blogger yesterday. Thanks, again, to Pauline Vetuna over at Just the Messenger. for allowing me the honor.

Did anyone participate in the candlelight vigil at 8pm last night? I did, in honor of a lost friend. Hanse, you are loved and missed everyday you are not with us.

What other things did you do to help spread awareness in your area? Please, feel free to share with us in the comments section. Now, I will get on to the next part of the series...
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Self-Harm:

Self-harm, often referred to as self-mutilation (though not all self-harming behaviors are also mutilating), is a term that means to deliberately hurt oneself without the intent to cause one's own death. This is a MAJOR warning sign of suicidal thoughts and/or tendencies that can be, and often times is, overlooked. Talking with a very, very good friend of mine recently, she made the statement that self-harm (cutting, in this particular conversation) is extremely addicting. This is something else that is often overlooked and under-talked about but very true.

Self-harm can include one or more of the following:

• Cutting on any part of the body (though the wrists and forearms, as well as thighs, can be favorable places) ------>form of self-mutilation
• Self-tattooing and scarification ------> form of self-mutilation
• Self-burning, usually with cigarettes, lighters, candles and matches -----form of self-mutilation
• Head-banging (against walls, door frames, concrete, trees, etc.) ------->form of self-harm
• Very hard pinching of oneself (hard enough to leave deep bruising and/or break skin) ------> form of self-harm
• Scratching (can refer to use of fingernails or use of razor-blades and knives where only the top few layers are scratched. Usually very minimal bleeding)

There are many reasons that lead a person to use self-harm. The most common response that I was able to gather, is this (summarized in my words), "It is a release....Of tension, anger, frustration, fear, and most importantly, pain. It is a way to let some of that negativity flow out of the body. A way to be reminded that you are alive." Stress, depression, anger, emotional pain, disappointments (social or personal), and an inability to express oneself in a positive/healthier manner are all reasons a person may resort to self-harm. Again, the intent behind self-harm is NOT death. However, untreated/stopped, I believe, it can lead to addiction and death.

There are MANY things that a suicidal person MAY do before they take their own lives--some suicidal individuals will show NO SIGNS before they commit suicide. I must mention, many of these can be rather subtle things/actions, ANYTHING out of the ordinary for someone you know well should be taken seriously. Don't be afraid to ask questions and provide support, even if you are unsure.

Some things to watch for include:

• Self-harm
• As I stated above, this is a MAJORLY overlooked sign. This is also a sign that has probably persisted for awhile before the actual suicide attempt is made.
• Appearing depressed/sad most of the time. 
• Undiagnosed/untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide.

•  A sudden, unexpected change from being depressed all the time to being happy/cheery.

• While this may mean the person has received necessary help, take time to ask, it may mean they are just about to commit suicide.

• Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself -----> NO threat should EVER be ignored!!
• Talking about being hopeless, helpless, worthless, and/or a burden to others.
• Suddenly visiting and/or calling family and friends (especially those they haven't seen/heard from in awhile)
• Increasing and/or picking up the habit of abusing drugs and alcohol.
• Major change in eating and sleeping habits.
• Seeking out ways to commit suicide: research online, purchase of guns/ammunition, knives, pills, rope, etc.
•  Getting their "affairs in order"
• Changing or completing a will
• Sudden, last minute funeral arragements
• Giving away prized possessions to family and friends

The American Association of Suicidology (AAS) has an easy to remember Mnemonic to help you spot signs of suicide. IS PATH WARM.

Ideation
Substance Abuse


                Purposelessness
                Anxiety
               Trapped
              Hopelessness


                                 Withdrawal
                                    Anger
                                    Recklessness
                                   Mood Changes

 Remember, not all suicidal persons will show signs that they are thinking about suicide. If you see uncharacteristic behavior in someone you know well, take a minute to ask them what is up. It just might make the all the difference.

The personal story I am about to share with you is a poem that was written to the previous anonymous guest in this post, as the two happen to be good friends. The author of this poem has asked me to stay anonymous and I am respecting their wishes. However, I personally know this individual. If you STEAL this poem just because it says anonymous and I find YOUR name attached to it, there will be hell to pay!!!
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                               Paper Mache

                  They come in nice little patterns

                  Lines spaced about ¼ inch apart

                               1 nice big X

                    And in one lovely nice red

                  You say it externalizes the pain

                       Well it sure as hell does

               Because everyone around you aches

                   But how is it my place to say?

                So cut yourself to paper mache

              I’ll advert my eyes and turn away

                 And curl up in so much pain

                 To see my friend go to waste

                 But it ain't my fucking place

                     How ever could it be?

                 Because your perfect body

                        Is for you to ruin

                         And not for me.

                            Anonymous

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I want to thank both of my anonymous guests today for allowing me to share their stories with the world. It really means a lot to me that you would allow me to do so!! *Hugs and Love*:)


Yes, I am going to mention this again:

If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

• The signs of suicidal thinking
• How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide
• The resources available in your area"

 If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271.

Tomorrow I have another addition to add to my week-long project. I will be touching on the subjects of Bullycide and Who is at Risk for suicide. I hope that you will keep reading and pass along any or all of the info to anyone who you think may benefit from it.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 3 of 8)

September 9th through 15th, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

Every year since 1974, the nation has come together in a week-long campaign to help promote Suicide Prevention Awareness.  All sorts of events are held all over our country, in the hopes that the information received there will help keep even just one person from committing suicide. The idea is to draw attention to suicide prevention, suicide warning signs, reduce stigma surrounding the topic of suicide (so that more prevention happens), encourage those who need it to seek mental health assistance, and to support those who have attempted suicide, as well as those who have lost someone to suicide.

Walks are organized, screenings are done, information is handed out, and memorials are held for those who have been lost. Fundraisers collect money for research for mental health issues, and for existing suicide prevention outlets.  All of this helps coincide with what is known as World Suicide Prevention Day, which is held annually on the 10^th of September. As the name would imply, this is the day that suicide prevention is recognized all over the world. 

For my small part in helping promote and spread awareness, I am posting one blog post every day this week—Suicide Prevention Awareness Week—in the hope that even one person may be saved. I have experienced loss to suicide myself (some time ago now) and find this to be a therapeutic way for me to deal with that grief.

I intend to give you as much information as I can on suicide but I also strongly encourage you to take the time to read the personal stories attached within all the facts. These are real people, with real stories that I have collected, just for this occasion. They wanted to let anyone who reads their stories to know that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. There is hope and there is help.

Thank you for stopping by to check this out. Suicide is preventable. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to spread the word, so pass this along as you see fit to. Here’s to hoping we can help save some lives.

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As I mentioned in yesterday's Awareness Post, Pauline Vetuna over at Just the Messenger. has graciously allowed me to feature a post she wrote at the beginning of August this year about World Suicide Prevention Day (with great links/info about what is happening in Australia for the day), as part of my Suicide Prevention Awareness posts. I can not express enough how appreciative I am for the honor to host such wonderful writing on my blog, thank you again Pauline for letting me showcase some of your wonderful work.

Before I let you get to her post, however, I very strongly encourage you to take a few minutes to read up on who Miss Pauline Vetuna is. Her story is a humbling and inspirational one. Take a break and head on over to her page by clicking here and here to meet her and see who she is BEFORE you continue on and read her marvelous post. It is worth it, I promise.
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Out of the Shadows, into the Light: Suicide Prevention Day, 10 September 2012 

Originally posted on August 8, 2012 by pjvetuna

In early August 2004, barely into his twenties, a friend of mine – and mad Elliott Smith fan – took his own life. He had struggled with mental health issues, rooted in a childhood marked by poverty, deprivation of love, and instability. As devastating as his suicide was, his untimely death came as a shock to no one – he was born into a house and body of pain, which he tried to numb with alcohol and drug use. Unable to connect in a healthy way with the world, the inner isolation drove him over the brink. Towards the end of the following year, another good man, who had made my high school experience much less repugnant over coffee, outsider wit and Daria, died in similar circumstances, at the age of 21. As he and I had lost contact over the years, I did not find out about his passing until about five months after the fact.

At the time I found out, I was an in-patient at a spinal rehabilitation hospital, waiting for modifications on my parents’ newly mortgaged house to be completed, so I could bust out. Whilst out for the day, I ran into a high school friend at Flinders Street Station and, still in a world of grief herself, she abruptly broke the news to me. A week or so later, through several hours of debriefing with her, I found out more about his life. A sensitive and intelligent young man, he had become involved in community activism to support LGB youth, but privately struggled with his own turmoil. I realized that we had faced similar trials during that previous year, 2005: relationship break-downs. Extreme anxiety. Depression. Fear. Loneliness. Untenable bottling of emotions. Self-medicating. At the very time he passed away, I was contemplating doing the same.

I am thankful that I didn’t take that final action, as I have witnessed the pain and suffering of those who are left behind. The emotions they are burdened with run the gamut from grief to anger, confusion, guilt, and even shame. Coming to terms with the hole that is left, and the unanswered questions, is part of the unending process of dealing with such an enormous loss. Those left behind can resent the person who committed suicide for the “selfishness” of the act; view them as inconsiderate of those that cared about them. However, whilst the circumstance surrounding every death is different, suicide usually occurs when a person’s pain exceeds their resources and ability to cope. The friend who left in August was not selfish – at the same time, in his own mind, he was completely alone. His life was undeniably harder than his peers. From the writing he left behind, it was clear he could not feel anything but pain by the end – not even the love of those around him.

This is ILLNESS, after all. It is a particular kind of pain that is impossible to understand if you have never been inside of it, inside that mental state. I hope you never are. Nonetheless, thousands of Australians will experience it. Suicide is the leading cause of death for men under the age of 44 and women under 34. The ABS, Causes of Death 2009 report showed deaths due to suicide numbering at 2,132 – which equates to 6 deaths by suicide a day, or one every four hours (and these are just the suicides that are reported). It showed that more people die from suicide in Australia than from skin cancer, and that Indigenous people are FOUR TIMES more likely to die by suicide than non-indigenous people.  And for every completed suicide, it is estimated that as many as 30 people attempt to do so.

BUT THERE IS HOPE. There is hope in taking positive action, in arming yourself with knowledge on how to support both others and yourself in times of dire need. Knowledge on what to do and where to turn to, to find appropriate assistance, and to nourish your own mental well being.

THE 10^th OF SEPTEMBER IS WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY (WSPD). On this day, numerous events, conferences, campaigns and local activities call to public attention what is one of the world’s largest causes of premature and unnecessary death. Essentially, it’s about getting information out, and connecting people  to the support, services and resources that could prevent them, or someone they know, from taking such a drastic action. Everyone is invited to get involved by participating in or hosting an event as part of WSPD. To do so, check out the official WSPD Australia website HERE. The website also contains a ‘Help‘ page HERE with links to hotlines and organizations that assist people in need, and a great ‘Resources‘ page with links to information on suicide and mental illnesses. Check it out HERE.

As part of World Suicide Prevention Day, an organization that has been of personal assistance to me, LIFELINE AUSTRALIA, is organizing ‘Out of the Shadows and into the Light’ Walks, to mark the occasion and raise awareness about suicide prevention. To join an Out of the Shadows walk (or register your own), go to the website HERE. Lifeline provides various services for people in crisis and those that care for them, and has published Suicide Prevention Resources and Information  – you can download and read through them HERE.

And if you or someone you know is suicidal (and you live in Australia) you can call Lifeline 24/7 on 13 11 14  (call 000 if in immediate danger).

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Hanse Joshua Peterson
3/27/87 to 2/4/03

In honor of World Suicide Prevention Day, the International Association for Suicide Prevention is offering EVERYONE an opportunity to participate in a candle light vigil. No, you don't have to go anywhere. It is easy. At 8 pm, wherever in the world you may be, simply light a candle close to a window to show your support of: World Suicide Prevention Day, suicide prevention awareness, survivors of suicide and the memories of lost loved ones.

As I mentioned in Part 2 of this series, I will be participating tonight. I will be doing so to honor the memory of a great friend who, tragically, took his own life at the age of 15 years old. It is for his memory and for my grief that I chose to participate originally. Now, I also participate to help spread awareness. I encourage EVERYONE to participate in this simple event.

Suicide is preventable. All it takes, is for someone to listen. All it takes, is for someone to reach out.

If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.

By the end of the workshop you will know:

• The signs of suicidal thinking

• How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide

• The resources available in your area"

 If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271.

I really want to thank Miss Pauline Vetuna, again, for allowing me to host her over here on my blog for today! I really, truly do appreciate the honor :)

There is another post for the series headed your way tomorrow. The main focus will be self-harm and other warning signs of suicide. Keep your eyes open for it and thank you again for reading.

If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.