Tuesday, March 17, 2015

I'm Moving Guys!!

So, I will soon be moving all of my work and quite probably shutting down this website. I have put a lot of thought into this and have decided that I would like to have a more "professional" blog/place for my best (in my opinion) works. Thank you for being patient with me (again, I know) and I look forward to seeing some of you (I really don't expect anyone to follow when I go) after the move.

**I will try to keep this blog updated on the move as much as possible. Once I have the new place set-up I will share the URL here with all of you.**
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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

And......I'm Back With: An Installment of "What The Hell"

I have been on sort of a hiatus for awhile now but I cannot be away any longer. Late last night (early this morning?? LoL) I wrote this update over in The Personals, about how busy--and exciting!!--my life has been since the new year has begun. Today, while perusing the news sites, I stumbled upon a list of articles that made me stop and say, "What the hell is wrong with people??!!" Interestingly enough, they are all from the eastern side of the United States......Not sure if that is strictly coincidence or if more weirdos live there than here on the western side....

This is why I have come back to you. I just need to share with all of you the things that make me go, "What the hell??!!" and here they are:

5. Whatever happened to just picking them back off???

A sandwich shop employee was punched in the face for "putting too many pickles" on a customer's sandwich.....Let that sink in for just a minute. Yes, this really happened.

I can sympathize....I hate pickles too.
On Saturday, Tina Drouin stopped to get a steak and cheese sandwich from Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs at the Quincy train station in Massachusetts. While there, the forty-nine year old woman apparently became quite aggitated when the sandwich maker began putting "too many pickles" on her sandwich. Drouin is said to have screamed at the worker about the ratio of things on the sandwich, cursing and using derrogatory comments, until she finally demanded a refund.

Upon being told she wasn't going to be given a refund, she promptly punched the sandwich maker in the face, pushed "two large very heavy jars filled with pickles and pickle juice" towards the employee (knocking her to the ground, as well as, shattering all over the floor), and then proceeded to attempt to flee.

WHAT. THE. HELL...Seriously??

I want to know what was going on in this woman's head when she decided that punching the person making her sandwich was the best solution to the fact that she felt there were too many pickles on it AND the fact she wouldn't be getting the refund she was demanding for this supposed violation. She couldn't have possibly thought that was going to get her what she wanted. If she did, she wouldn't have ran away...

The sandwich maker, determined for some justice it would seem, ran after the woman who had assaulted her. Once she caught up to her attacker she managed to subdue her and "held her until police arrived." I'd say that was probably the most eventful day that employee has ever had!!

4. This puts a whole new meaning to the term "bible thumper"...

In Kings Mountain, North Carolina a woman is being held on $105,000 bond after being charged with two counts of assault and one count of burglary. The weapon she is accused of weilding in the attack (on at least one of the two victims)? A bible.
Bible thumpin' taken to a whole new level....

Yep. Evelyn Mills Moore, 57 years old, assaulted a woman with her fists and a bible causing bruising to the victim's head, face and arms.

WHAT. THE. HELL?? Who does things like this? I am a little curious to know what the cause of this fight was to begin with....Seriously though. What prompts a person to start beating someone with a bible? Was it something she was already holding or perhaps the closest thing at hand, making it a weapon of opportunity? Was this a random argument or was it a religious debate turned violent? I, sadly, have no idea but, as someone who is not religious, this whole thing cracks me up! Isn't the irony just hilarious??!!

Wait!! She didn't just stop with attacking this woman with a bible. Mills Moore is also accused of "inflicting serious injury after striking a man with her fist causing numerous abrasions on his head, face and arms and a knot near his right eye," according to arrest warrants. No word on if this man was also struck with said bible...

3. On the flip side of that story, we have this:

A 23 year old Georgia woman was arrested for STEALING a bible from Barnes & Noble. She was charged with a misdemeanor and let go after posting the $1000 bond.
Who steals bibles from bookstores??!! Any church will give you one for FREE, all you have to do is ask. This pastor even confirmed this for the rest of the world when he stated:
"We believe that God’s word should be given freely, and so if someone comes in to our campus and they don’t have God’s word, then we are very happy to give them a copy of God’s word." ~~Mark Scardino, Roswell Street Baptist Church Pastor
Doesn't the bible preach that stealing is a sin? I'm sure I read that somewhere in there (a very long time ago). If Ashley Fleming wasn't aware of this beforehand, she certainly is now. And I can bet that she is feeling pretty dumb right about now...

2. Where are the chicken wings??!!

Last month in Memphis, Tennessee two men were arrested for brandishing an AK-47 style gun at the drive-thru window of a chicken restaurant because the establishment reportedly didn't give them their entire order.
Don't you forget my wings!!

According to authorities, Antonius Hart Sr. and his son, Antonius Hart Jr. went to Pirtle's Chicken and placed an order to go. The pair then proceeded to drive off before realizing that they hadn't gotten the chicken wings they ordered. The duo then drove back to the establishment and brandished a weapon on the cashier who messed up their order.

Hold up!! WHAT. THE. HELL!!

Who brandishes an automatic weapon--bought specifically for this occasion, no less--just because the restaurant forgot part of your order?? This is another case where I'd love to know the thought process behind these actions...especially since the establishment was more than willing to accomodate the customer by providing the forgotten food, since they realized their own mistake. This, however, was just not good enough for the father/son duo and once their demands for more food--as compensation for having to drive back to the restaurant--were 'shot down' (pun intended LoL) they brandished their weapon...Which prompted employees to call the cops instead of complying with demands.

Police responded to the call for help and arrested both men on the scene. The weapon and 24 live rounds of ammunition were also confiscated from their vehicle.

~~~***Violence and threats of violence WILL NOT win you friends or get you what you want out of life without there being serious consequences...Let's think about this people***~~~

1. Prostitution Ring Bust......at a Senior Citizen Home???!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON THESE DAYS??!! This is no joke--though it is a hilarious thing to laugh at I suppose.

Prompted by complaints from residents, an undercover investigation and police surveillance discovered a drug and prostitution ring at a senior citizen housing complex in New Jersey.

Two residents--James Parham, 75, and Cheryl Chaney, 66--have been arrested for allegedly, "running a prostitution ring out of their apartments, using cocaine, and ultimately causing drunks and drug addicts to bother others living in the building, pass out in the halls, and leave used condoms in the rec room." A third, unnamed 54 year old suspect has also been arrested on drug charges.
Parham freely admits that he brandished crack-addicted prositutes to the younger residents of the complex though it is unclear what role Chaney played in this scheme. It is also unclear how long these things had been going on in this complex but police stated that, "many [residents] were scared to leave their apartments."

Of course they were!! I am in my mid-twenties and even I would be afraid to leave my apartment if this were a regular thing in the hallways and apartments surrounding mine.

I am not truly surprised by any of these accounts, however. I have, very sadly, come across even crazier things than these. Today, though, these are the ones that really caught my attention and so I had to share. These things really do make me sit back and wonder aloud what the hell is wrong with people....And then I rememeber....People are dumb.
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Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 8 of 8)


September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week
Every year since 1974 ('75?), the nation has come together in a week-long campaign to help promote Suicide Prevention Awareness.  All sorts of events are held all over our country, in the hopes that the information received there will help keep even just one person from committing suicide. The idea is to draw attention to suicide prevention, suicide warning signs, reduce stigma surrounding the topic of suicide (so that more prevention happens), encourage those who need it to seek mental health assistance, and to support those who have attempted suicide, as well as those who have lost someone to suicide.

Walks are organized, screenings are done, information is handed out, and memorials are held for those who have been lost. Fundraisers collect money for research for mental health issues, and for existing suicide prevention outlets.  All of this helps coincide with what is known as World Suicide Prevention Day, which is held annually on the 10th of September. As the name would imply, this is the day that suicide prevention is recognized all over the world. 

For my small part in helping promote and spread awareness, I am posting one blog post every day this week—Suicide Prevention Awareness Week—in the hope that even one person may be saved. I have experienced loss to suicide myself (some time ago now) and find this to be a therapeutic way for me to deal with that grief.

I intend to give you as much information as I can on suicide but I also strongly encourage you to take the time to read the personal stories attached within all the facts. These are real people, with real stories that I have collected, just for this occasion. They wanted to let anyone who reads their stories to know that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. There is hope and there is help.

Thank you for stopping by to check this out. Suicide is preventable. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to spread the word, so pass this along as you see fit to. Here’s to hoping we can help save some lives.
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This is going to be the last installment of my suicide awareness series. I hope that everyone has benefited from reading everything so far.

Today, I will share some resources for anyone who is thinking of attempting suicide and for anyone who has lost someone to suicide. This is by no means a complete comprehensive list, but I hope that it is at least a place to start.

In the next few weeks, I will be adding a more complete resources page to my blog. I want a place where the information below is readily available for anyone to find and utilize, so keep a lookout for it.

Remember, suicide is 100% preventable. Sometimes, all it takes is to talk to someone who will listen. You are NOT alone and you ARE loved. If anyone tells you differently, they are WRONG.
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If you are currently experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors, here are some resources for you to try:

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 You may need to view this video in fullscreen mode to read all of the cards...
This is Hannah Novak and this is what she has to say to you about suicide. Please watch all the way through to the end. Thank you for sharing this with the world Hannah! Your message is honest and inspiring :) You are a wonderful girl.
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If you have lost someone to suicide, or know someone who has, you can use any or all of the above hotlines and chat lines for immediate information, help, and support. There are trained individuals to help you understand and manage your grief on the other end of these support lines. Please, use them.

Here are some additional resources that you can use to help you deal with your loss:
 Simply click on one of the above mentioned organizations and you should be directed straight to each of the resource pages. Many of these resource pages have websites listed to visit, links to online support groups, information about suicide and grief, and even book listings to take a look at. Take a few minutes to look around each of these resources and find the best ones for your needs.

Always remember: If you are in immediate danger, or know someone who is, call 911 (or any other local emergency contact number) and/or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

I hope this has helped in some way.
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A Year Ago...
 1/31/04

For: Hanse Joshua Peterson
3/27/87 to 2/4/03

Sick and twisted thoughts stir in my mind
Guilt of the tragedy is all that's left behind
Memories of who he was are fading fast
How long is this pain inside going to last?
Four days from now it will have been a year
The loss of someone close is what I fear
What did he think when he breathed his last breath?
Was he scared when he knowingly embraced his own death?
Suicide Action Montreal
514-723-4000
24 hours; 7 days a week
A year ago we were all doing just fine
Then the world fell apart, including mine
I told myself that it couldn't be true
So lost and confused, I didn't know what to do
Wandering alone in the dark I couldn't see
My pain was so great and I blamed me
A year ago not many people knew who he was
If he walked to school or rode the bus
Did he have many friends or was he a loner?
Was he a goody-goody or was he a stoner?
Did he laugh much or did he ever cry?
No one gave a damn until he died!
A year ago nobody cared to ask questions
To give him advice or make small suggestions
They laughed at him and they called him names
They all fucked him up with their mind games
Now some sit outside and enjoy the rain
Some hide away and swallow their pain
I live my life and hide my pain away
I lost a good friend a year ago today

Rochelle Callahan
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If you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:


"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.
By the end of the workshop you will know:
  • The signs of suicidal thinking
  • How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide
  • The resources available in your area"

 If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271.
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Acknowledgments/Thanks:


This has been a big personal project for me. While the initial idea for an informational post-a-day for suicide prevention awareness week was indeed mine, I do have to admit that the idea to incorporate personal stories into each post, was not mine alone. I have to give that credit to Lisa Richards.

In my initial research for current information on suicide facts and statistics, I came across her website and read her homepage, which explains what her book is about. Richards lost her eighteen year old daughter to suicide in 2011 and began collecting letters from all of Mallory’s family and friends. Each page in the book is filled with love and loss…laughter and heartbreak. I found this to be incredibly touching and couldn’t shake a serious case of the goosebumps.

Due to the intense reaction I felt to just reading the homepage of her website, the idea that incorporating personal stories into my posts was born. I hoped that someone reading my posts would be as deeply affected by the personal stories shared there as I was by this loving gesture.  So, a great big thank you to Lisa Richards. You are an inspiring and strong woman.

On that note, I wish to thank the wonderful guest bloggers that gave me the pleasure of showcasing their spectacular writing skills, as well as, their very real and personal experiences with suicide. I really feel honored to share their stories with all of you in the hopes that it will help spread awareness. They are wonderfully strong women who are, I believe at least, fabulous writers. If you haven’t already checked out their blogs, you should head on over and do so now! Just the Messenger. and Diary of a Madwoman, thank you again so very much!!

And last, but certainly not least, I want to thank all of my terrific family and friends who also helped me with this important project by sharing their own stories and experiences. I feel like a great weight of my posts couldn’t have been possible without your help and input. I can never thank you enough for allowing me this privilege.
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"Ok, so my story... not really sure what to include so I'll do pretty much everything.
I have a family history of mental illness, my mom is majorly depressed, anxiety, PTSD, etc. My father is bipolar, psycho, rage. My father was an abusive asshole to my mom—actually I was a rape baby while she was on birth control. He threatened to kill her if she aborted me. So, after I was born she fled away from him with my aunt to Washington state. Somehow, he always kept finding her and beating the shit out of her. That is until my 5th birthday. She figured out that he was able to pay the post office $1 and if he knew the old address, [he could] get the new address. So, she fixed that and we finally got away from him. Unfortunately, for me, I was out of a physically abusive situation and into a mentally and emotionally abusive one.
I am bipolar, anxiety, mania, psychosis, schizoaffective... and a very high IQ. My mom didn't know how to handle me, so we always fought. She didn't mean to, but she always ended up trying to stifle me. She was a single parent working 2-3 jobs. As I got older, things only got worse. It turned physically abusive as well. I finally crossed the line in middle school, and I threatened the school cop, and was sent to Texas to live with my aunt, again.
This was quite possibly the worst experience of my life. They treated me like the redheaded stepchild. I was never included in anything. They treated me like a prisoner. Worse even. It was during this period that my depression worsened from [just] depression to suicidal ideations and self-mutilation. I had been slightly suicidal already since about 2nd grade. I used to hide in my closet with a butcher knife held to my heart just wishing for the courage to plunge it through my chest. In 3rd grade I was hospitalized after walking to school in the bike lane, since there were no sidewalks. They thought I was trying to kill myself. I wasn't at the time, and it only taught me how to manipulate the system. It didn't do anything to help me.
So in 7th grade when I went to Texas, I started cutting myself on a daily basis almost. I remember the first time I ever did it was on Thanksgiving in 1999. I had been there for about 6 months and I had found quickly that everything they had promised me was a lie. They claimed they treated me like their own child, but if I so much as blinked wrong I was in a living nightmare. Whereas their kids could disappear without any notice until 10ish at night and they [would] just blow it off. Then in 8th grade there was a choir concert and everyone was cheering for their friends. I had bad timing apparently and cheered for a split second after everyone had stopped. I stopped as soon as I realized this mind you, but they didn't believe it. So what was my punishment for such a heinous crime? I got to stay up all night on school nights for some 'quality time' with my drill sergeant uncle. He put me through military boot camp PT all night, let me get 2 hours of sleep, made me go to school like that, and do it all over again. For weeks.
Needless to say, this did nothing for my mental state. They had also withheld my Christmas gifts from me, but had filmed the whole thing for family and my mother to see, so they made me pretend to open my things and be happy. I wasn't. Then you take into account that I was molested by my older cousin a couple times. I had no desire to continue living. I got so deep into cutting myself that I made morbid little designs and decorations on my arms. I thought they were beautiful. I still do.
Cutting/self -mutilation is an addiction. I haven't done it on a regular basis since I was 19, but I still have the urge to do it every year or two. In fact just writing this is making me itch for it. It's such an amazing sense of relief from the stress and anxiety built up inside of you. It's more powerful than any drug in the world. I should know, I'm no stranger to them.
In 11th grade I tried to kill myself by swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills and was hospitalized again. This time I was prepared but they still managed to catch me off guard. They drugged me before I went to see the shrink and was high out of my mind. The first morning I woke up, granted the only morning I was there, the girl in the room with me and her friend asked me if I wanted to burn myself with salt and ice. No, I can't say that I do. There were about 3 people including myself who were there because they were genuinely depressed and suicidal. All the others, well, they were just behavior problems that their parents didn't want to deal with. Take my roommate for example, she was around 9-10 and her grandmother was her guardian. She was supposed to show up that day to visit, but she didn't. So the child started throwing a fit and trashing the place. Thankfully my mom was there to see it. I had told her the place was literally making me crazier but she didn't believe me. For some reason she had stuck around longer than expected and when she saw that girl she immediately checked me out. It was an incredibly unhealthy place.
I had always hated being on medication. I had been on 19 different meds between 6 and 11 years old. So, I was on anti-psych medications until I was 19. At which point, I realized I really needed help and decided I wanted to get somewhere in life. I wanted to be a psychiatrist and help other people in my situation. Unfortunately that wouldn't really happen. When I was 20, almost 21, I had surgery to remove my gallbladder and would discover that I'm terminally ill. I decided that I'd be a nurse then since it didn't take as long as psychiatry. That didn't work out either. The pain in my kidneys got to be too much for me to even go to school and lately to even function normally. Nursing was definitely out of the question.
It didn't seem fair that all the time I spent wanting to die on account of my depression, I would overcome it mostly just to find out it wasn't really any better. Nowadays, I'm still suicidal, but in a different way.
I'm terminally ill. I suffer on a daily basis in incredible pain and I'm on high enough doses of narcotics to kill a few people with one dose of my meds. Now I want to die to end my suffering. I believe in assisted suicide for the terminally ill. I feel we're more humane to our animals than we are our sick and dying.
I've recently come up with an idea for a charity/foundation to help people who are suicidal get help. I'm also focusing very heavily on cutting and self-mutilation needing addiction help. I've been lucky enough to be able to collaborate on it with Bert McCracken of The Used, my absolute favorite band.
I don't believe that my desire to die currently is wrong in any way. My pain will never end. Yours can. So please never give up and find help if you need it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who takes care of me in light of all my problems. You'll get through it. I promise. It may not be incredibly soon, mine took most of my life, but it will get better."  ~~Stephani Trioli~~
Thank you so much Steph :) I love you sweetheart, so much! I'm so excited for you for being able to collaborate with Bert for you project! And, I am proud of you for trying to help spread awareness as well. *Hugs and Kisses*
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If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.
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Friday, September 14, 2012

The Elephant in the Room: Suicide (Part 7 of 8)


September 9 through September 15, 2012
Suicide Prevention Awareness Week
Every year since 1974 ('75?), the nation has come together in a week-long campaign to help promote Suicide Prevention Awareness.  All sorts of events are held all over our country, in the hopes that the information received there will help keep even just one person from committing suicide. The idea is to draw attention to suicide prevention, suicide warning signs, reduce stigma surrounding the topic of suicide (so that more prevention happens), encourage those who need it to seek mental health assistance, and to support those who have attempted suicide, as well as those who have lost someone to suicide.

Walks are organized, screenings are done, information is handed out, and memorials are held for those who have been lost. Fundraisers collect money for research for mental health issues, and for existing suicide prevention outlets.  All of this helps coincide with what is known as World Suicide Prevention Day, which is held annually on the 10th of September. As the name would imply, this is the day that suicide prevention is recognized all over the world. 

For my small part in helping promote and spread awareness, I am posting one blog post every day this week—Suicide Prevention Awareness Week—in the hope that even one person may be saved. I have experienced loss to suicide myself (some time ago now) and find this to be a therapeutic way for me to deal with that grief.

I intend to give you as much information as I can on suicide but I also strongly encourage you to take the time to read the personal stories attached within all the facts. These are real people, with real stories that I have collected, just for this occasion. They wanted to let anyone who reads their stories to know that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. There is hope and there is help.

Thank you for stopping by to check this out. Suicide is preventable. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to spread the word, so pass this along as you see fit to. Here’s to hoping we can help save some lives.
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"After years of abuse of all kinds I had a pretty low self-esteem. Feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred led me into deep depression. The only thing I ever wanted was to be loved and not getting any led to thoughts of suicide. The only way I can describe the way it feels is that there is a big black hole inside of me. A void if you will. The longer I go without feeling loved the blacker it gets.

Finding someone to love me for me has been a life-long journey. There were a few times I thought I found it but as time goes on it turns out to be a fruitless effort. And I’m once again in darkness. Any disappointment or being spoken to in a certain way brings on the depression as well as the suicidal thoughts.

I have tried to kill myself too many times to count. It didn’t work cause I’m still here. Someone always intervened and kept me alive. The last time I tried I got locked up in the looney bin. I was thinking of doing it again when I found out that I was pregnant.

That baby saved my life and I’m still here today because of my three girls and now for my grandbaby."  ~~Tanya
**I love you mom. I am more than happy to have (unknowingly) saved your life. Thank you for letting me share this with everyone.**

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Many people who commit suicide do so because they believe that no one will care if they are gone and they feel like there is no other way for them to end their pain and suffering. Both presumptions are wrong. If you are having suicidal thoughts or behaviors there are things that you can do--other than attempt/commit suicide.

If you are currently struggling with thoughts of suicide or suicidal behaviors, here is what you can do:
  • Talk with someone you trust about these things, ask for their help in seeking treatment
  • Talk with a counselor or therapist about these things
  • Sometimes, writing in a journal can be a healthy outlet for these thoughts and substitute for the behaviors
  • Call the local, national, and international (if it applies) hotlines dedicated to suicide prevention
  • Call 911 or any other emergency services number and inform the operator/dispatcher of your crisis
  • Stay away from ANYTHING that you can use to harm yourself
  • Check yourself into a local hospital
  • Go to the emergency room
If you are someone who thinks they have a loved one considering suicide, here is what you can do:
  • Assure the person that you are there for them to talk to and that you will help them in any way that you possibly can
  • Ask questions
    •  "Are you okay?"
    • "Is there something you would like to, or need to, talk about?"
    • "Are you thinking of committing suicide?"
  • NEVER keep someone's plan of suicide a secret
    • Tell someone who can help the person seek proper treatment
  • DON'T try to minimize the person's problems
  • DON'T try to shame the person into changing their mind
  • Acknowledge their pain is legitimate and offer to work with them to seek help
  • Call 911 or any other emergency services number and inform the operator/dispatcher of the crisis
  • Call local, national, and/or international suicide prevention hotlines
Often times, people forget or fail to realize that the pain of losing someone is terribly burdensome. Many suicide survivors feel as if they are alone and have no one they can turn to. This in turn can lead to severe isolation and depression for survivors.


If you know someone who is a survivor, here is what you can do:
  • NEVER blame the survivor for the death of the victim
    • 90% of suicides have underlying conditions such as clinical depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar illness, and schizophrenia. 
    • Depression in not caused just by life events like losing a job, dissolution of a relationship, or feelings of rejection in general, but a chemical imbalance in the brain as well.
  • Express sympathy and empathy
  • Understand that the survivor may be experiencing a multitude of emotions
    • Shock
    • Rage/anger
    • Sadness/depression
    • Confusion
    • Relief
  • Remember that everyone grieves in their own ways and times
  • Ask questions
    • "Are you okay?"
    • "Do you want or need to talk?" 
  •  Really listen to the survivor and offer help and advice appropriately
  • Read books about suicide and grieving after suicide
  • Find out about suicide survivor grief/support groups in your community
    • Pass the information onto the survivor
    • Offer to go to meetings with the survivor
    • Go on your own
 If you happen to be a suicide survivor yourself, here is what you can do:
  • Know that the emotions you are feeling, even suicidal ones, are normal. If you feel you are in immediate danger of suicidal acts call 911 immediately.
  • Know that it is okay to grieve.
  • Know that it is okay to be angry or fearful.
  • Know that it is okay to feel helpless and alone, these things are common.
  • Give yourself time to grieve. Healing is a time consuming process. Take as long as you need.
  • Keep asking yourself "why" until you no longer need to ask at all
  • Know that it is okay to laugh and cry
  • Delay making major life decisions immediately following the suicide death of a loved one
  • Be patient with yourself
  • Find out about suicide survivor grief/support groups in your community
    • Attend on your own
    • Attend with a friend or family member 
  • Avoid people who tell you how to feel or what to do
  • Don't be afraid to seek professional help
  • Read books on suicide and grieving after suicide
  • Don't be afraid to talk to close friends and family
    • They may not talk about it freely in the mistaken thought that it may be too painful for you. Go ahead and initiate a conversation. 
  •  Realize that it is okay to go on with your life. 
    • It doesn't mean you didn't love the person or that you don't miss them. It just means that you are slowly learning to live a little differently without them, one day at a time.
    • It means that you are living. You are surviving.

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 Friend's Suicide

"There [were] two friends of mine [who] grew up together. They did everything together. If one tried out for sports the other one did too. There names were Jack and John. Their nicknames that I gave them were the Twin J's. The reason I called them that is because they liked anime. They collected books, comic books, toys, and shows of there favorite characters.
One day Jack's parents told him some bad news. That his father had colon cancer and that he only has a few months to live. His father and him were best friends so it really hurt him. Jack went in a deep depression. He pushed himself away from his friends including John. Some weeks later he started coming back. Four months later, he was getting back to normal. Then the tragady happened. His father died. Jack went off the deep end. It looked like he went into a coma. He didn't do anything. He just stayed in his room. We all went over to his house day after day to show him that we care about him and his situation.
One day while I was at work. I got a call from Jack's mom. She said that she got a call from the hospital saying Jack had been shot. I left work and met her at the hospital. I asked her what happened and she said no one had told her anything yet. A few minutes later the doctor came out and told her that her son had died. She dropped to the floor and started to cry.

I asked the doctor how he got shot. Just then, two cops walked up to us and explained that they pulled him over for speeding and as the cops were getting out of their car, Jack got out and pointed a gun at the cops. They warned Jack to drop the gun but he didn't and Jack loaded the gun. Jack shot once and the cops shot back. She got upset with the cops but the cops knew she was upset about her son being dead. The doctor handed a piece of paper to one of the cops that they found on Jack and then the cop handed it to Jack's mom. It stated:

I can't stay in this world any longer. I can't live without my father. So I'm going to kill myself. I don't know how or where. (Jack's Suicide Note)
So it seems that he used the cops for his suicide. It's called Suicide by Cop.
Jack's mom went into a deep depression and John was depressed too. I was a little depressed but I was worried about John and Jack's mom. So I pushed it aside. What I did was, I brought John over to Jack's mom's house and I talked to them, showed them that I loved them. I did that everyday. I also took care of them for a month and a half. They were coming around at that time. Jack's mom [then] decided to move in with her brother in Colorado and John moved with his parents because his father got a better job offer. I haven't seen them since.

My depression stayed [with me] but I had my other friends to help me through it."  ~~Sam S.
 **Sam, I love you buddy. I am glad that you made it through that tough time and that you had wonderful friends who could be there for you. Thank you for letting me share your story with everyone.**
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I want to thank everyone for letting me use their stories to help spread awareness to those in need. I know I have said something similar in every post thus far (and believe me, tomorrow's thanks section is a little long) but I really am appreciative of everyone's help with this project.


I also want to remind everyone that if you live in the Tillamook area, there is an Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) workshop that you can attend. According to the information ad in our local newspaper:

"Asist is a comprehensive suicide intervention training. ASIST is the result of more than 20 years of research and development, and is the most widely used suicide intervention program in the world. ASIST is partially funded through a federal grant targeting suicide prevention alternative.
By the end of the workshop you will know:
  • The signs of suicidal thinking
  • How to intervene to prevent immediate risk of suicide
  • The resources available in your area"
If you are interested in attending this workshop it will be held on September 20th and September 21st from 9 am until 5 pm at Tillamook Bay Community College (TBCC). Registration for attendance is required. The cost to attend is $30 per person and for Social Workers, Counselors, and First Responders there are Continuing Education Credits available for taking this workshop. If you would like to register, please take a moment to call (503) 842-8201 ext. 271.

Tomorrow is the last segment in the series I have for Suicide Awareness Prevention Week. In it, you will find resources for those who are considering suicide and resources for those who are considered suicide survivors. I hope that you come back tomorrow and I hope that you will spread the information to someone who could use it.
If you need someone to talk to, please call the number above.
There is someone one the other end who WANTS to help you.
Suicide is NOT the answer.
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